fingers crossed

just rang the agent today and was informed that we have an application in process for the next tenant in our first property.

it’s always a relief to not have a gap in the rental (meaning somebody else always pays for the mortgage).

so fingers crossed that their application will be ok. and that they’ll be good tenants. and that they’ll always be paying on time. 😛

…but i am missing having my own house. and my own furniture. and that feeling of being settled (even for just a bit).

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the perfect getaway

a bit frustrated that i can’t seem to find the right kind of getaway for the bank holiday next month.

on the brink of booking to go to rome, i keep getting turned off by the bad hotel reviews and that the flights available lands close to midnight. and that in a small-ish city like rome, it’s bound to get really busy and i don’t want to be spending the holiday fighting my way through crowds.

so we decided to stay in the country. and isle of wight is quite near and takes the stress away from set times to leave and trying to catch a flight.

but what i really hate about local holidays is that

(1) you’re at the mercy of the british weather

(2) booking a month in advance for a bank holiday does not guarantee you’ll get into the hotel you wanted. as it is, i booked a hotel last night. got a call this morning that there must have been a glitch in their system and that the deal i booked should not have been valid on a bank holiday weekend. so either i re-schedule, or pay the difference which is twice the amount. i cancelled. i ran a search this morning for other hotels, i found none available.

(3) hotels in this country don’t know what tasteful decor means. either you get the beige walls and white sheets in business/travel hotels or the flowery wallpapers and equally flowery sheets in the rest. boutique hotels are a new thing. there are only a few around. and they cost an arm and a leg. (i’m lying a bit. i have been to nicely decorated bed and breakfasts further out. i just can’t get over the decor in the hotel rooms i’m viewing over the net in the isle of wight at the moment).

(4) if you’re booking on a bank holiday, and not taking 3 nights, chances are you’ll get bumped or won’t be able to book (i think this is the reason why i got that call). as rooms are in demand and if they stick with you, they’ll lose a night.

(5) it’s expensive. we’re most likely to be spending the same amount if we were to go to rome.

so good luck to us.

a year ago…

a year ago i was hoping to migrate to sydney. i had the interviews lined up. already had to turn down a prospect because we can’t agree with the salary on offer.

i was booking the flights. but everywhere’s fully booked for the next 3 weeks. how likely is that when it’s not even summer yet? either wait or fly first class (yeah right, like we had the budget for first class).

and so continued the endless talks over coffee (in that little coffee shop in SM Valenzuela). to decide whether to push through with the plans to migrate elsewhere or go back to london.

at least, getting the flights to london were a lot easier to book.

10 days we were holed up in that tiny windowless room of easyhotel in kensington. in and out of interviews and apartment viewings. nights spent in internet cafes and reading the latest harry potter and talking ourselves out of depression.

thinking as to how long we had to wait until that job offer. and how are we going to get a flat when even though we had the money to pay for rent, our not having a job (yet) is already causing us problems. at worst we would have to ask friends a big favour to guarantee for us. or rent a room from them for a while.

but that we had a couple of properties being rented out was a saving grace, as it qualified us as having a source of income. and we ended up in a flat in barking (with an agent on the dodgy side). and a job soon after.

i could still remember the feeling. and i don’t think i’ll ever forget it. wanting to feel depressed but needed to keep an upbeat front. worrying kung saan kami pupulutin but at the same time resigned to the fact that we know we’re doing all that we can and that there’s no point losing sleep over it. enjoying reading harry potter but feeling like i don’t deserve any enjoyment at such a time. preparing myself as it’s most likely that the husband will get a job outside of the UK.

putting things into perspective, and all our drama aside, it really isn’t such big a deal. we have a lot of options left, not the best ones, but there’s no chance we’ll ever be out in the cold. we had a difficult couple of weeks starting up our life back in the UK. and a month more praying that the husband will find a job in london so we can stay together.

but things will always fall into place as it always did. i hang onto that line everytime and it had never failed me.

maybe we’ll never have a simple, settled life. always itching to embark on something new. always finding ways to complicate our lives just a little bit more. forever asking questions. finding our happiness in change. where being out of our comfort zone is actually comforting, an affirmation of the changes we’re making.

in some ways, it is sad. that we’re not finding contentment. forever chasing after something we don’t quite know yet. that we have made one big leap after another but never quite ending up where we can keep still.

but why be content when deep inside you know you can be so much more? why spend time justifying your current situation when it’s just as easy to change it? why accept things as they are when nobody’s stopping you from asking questions? why keep still and only think about yourself when you can make a difference?

life is a quest. to find happiness. to find your place in the world. to find answers to the unending questions. everyday is an opportunity to grow, be better and to know yourself a bit more.

(side note: Easyhotel is in a really good location, clean, and probably the cheapest room with an ensuite you can get in London. i had booked us a disabled access room because it was the only 1 left and would give us a bit more space. but i really would find it hard to recommend them unless you’re planning to come home dead drunk every night and just sleep. those rooms are absolutely depressing as it was windowless and the room was as big as the bed with a bit of floor space for the luggage and to get through the toilet. i felt like it was the closest i’ll get to a prison cell.)

my personal style

call me a late bloomer. but up to now, i have never found my own personal style when it comes to dressing up. i know what’s me and what’s not. i know what i wouldn’t be caught dead in. i know the colours that doesn’t work for me.

maybe it’s just because i was never interested in fashion. or maybe fashion was just never interested in me 🙂 but like all girly-girls, i wanted to look good, or at least be presentable. i will be the first one to admit that i don’t carry a dress well. but there is still that longing everytime i buy something new – i wanted to be stylish.

i know it’s all in being confident. but how do you get confident when you know you don’t look the part? it has to start from somewhere.

wala lang. today i spent a good part of my time in oxford street (i got an extra day off today). in and out of the high street shops. trying this and that. and came home with a white blouse, a pair of earrings, and a necklace (at lahat on sale). yun lang. i just want to shop without needing to shop. just find clothes that i reallly liked without feeling pressured to get anything just because i haven’t got anything more to wear. and i guess this is how i should rebuild my wardrobe. slowly but surely. find my own style a single item at a time. without asking for anybody else’s opinion so i don’t get influenced.

i’m not brand conscious in any way. i’ll buy if i like it enough and i can justify the price in my head. i don’t get the fascination with manolo blahniks and LVs. sure, i browse through the jimmy choos collection and if only that neverfull bag doesn’t cost my whole arm and leg. pero i don’t think i can ever fall in love with a shoe or a bag enough to spend more than £200 on one. hmmm…ibili ko na lang kaya ng ticket to italy, and i would have enjoyed a lifetime of memories…or go to greenhills and get a copy (bad).

on a side note…i don’t understand what’s going on in the Gap shops here. i loved their jeans. and after years of having not bought a new one, i went there. it says 26 in. waistline, i tried it on and it was falling to my knees, baka 30in yun. where did the american size 0s and 1s go? hmmp. trying to please the british women, revamping the sizes so the size 12s are now size 10s. pano na ako and the other petite asian women who flocked their shops?