i just can’t play their game. i don’t do threats just to know i am valued. and i am not willing to change who i am for a few loose change.
a part of me feels like i’m running away. but the bigger part of me tells me to choose my battles. i can do so much better if i go.
i know i’m not really being pushed out intentionally. but why does it feel that way?
i know what needs to be done. but can’t help feeling really lost. trying to figure out how i got myself hurt in these charade.
this week has been really draining.
sunday had us watching the snow falling quite heavily from starbucks at oxford street. and it kept on snowing throughout the night.
monday morning i jumped out of bed to have a look outside. and it’s all covered in what seemed like half a foot of snow. a quick look at the TfL’s website and the red signs saying severe delays or line suspended tells me this is a bad day to come to work.
emailed the office that i will be working from home.
the husband who left earlier, was soon back at the door with mocha and latte in hand, after failing to get on the tube.
so i worked from home. still with time left in the afternoon to trek to the grocery to get food and some snow ball fighting.
this is London. we are not used to snow here. if snow settles, everything grinds to a halt. the roads become treacherous, the trains stop. even the tube which operates mostly underground stops. people here find it hilarious. yet it happens every year. with this year being the worst i’ve seen.
the rest of this week is making half-hearted treks to and from the office. trains delayed or cancelled. mornings and evenings are spent shivering in the platforms waiting. my 1.5 hour one way journeys stretch to 2 or 2.5 hours. the roads are not only treacherous for those driving, but a lot of pavements remain ungritted. packed down each day and turning to smooth ice.
at home, under a jumper, snow socks, fleece blanket and a thick duvet, i would lie on the bed still shivering. and yes, the heating is already on at full. these days, i am missing our well-insulated house in Stevenage. though i know, these days, the husband is missing his 4 wheel drive.
and the weatherman says the arctic is here for the full month.