sappy

there’s something about talking to old friends that makes you really homesick….and sappy.

so if you’re an old friend and thinks this is too emotional, spare me the embarassment and don’t tell me i’m OA. i already know.

met them throughout the various stages of life. and i had told myself that i was lucky to have kept friends from elementary, highschool, university, and work – that it meant there wasn’t a period in my life in manila that i don’t relish.

well maybe an exaggeration – (have i told you about the real first job i had, i was in this company for 2 weeks, and i left in tears because i felt everybody hated me. well, i hated them back too. hmp)

part of me just wants to go back. and relive those times like i’ve never really gone away. and nobody else has gone away. but time and everyone has moved on. and it’s not like it’s ever going to be the same again. people have changed, some more subtle than others. i lost touch with a lot of people. i’ve found some again. i still remember my childhood best friends. each one of them. i have reserved that term for only a very few people. and i wonder if they think it’s too childish to remember. i wish i could tell them, no matter how silly it sounds now, that even if we’ve moved on from one best friend to the next, they still occupy the same spot in my heart. they made me happy. maybe even broke my heart the way only best friends can. and i’ve learned valuable lessons in life through them. and everyone i have called a friend along the way, had left a footprint in my heart. and when i meet them again, i wish there was a non-sappy way of letting them know (lest they think i’m dying or something.)

staying in touch can still be a drag sometimes. and we all get lazy until it seems it’s too late. we get busy with the not-so-important parts of life. or your wedding comes up and you start to hide (even if you’d love to have them there, you just have too many relatives and new friends to invite)….yes, Arnaldo, we know you’re getting married, and we understand why our invites got lost in the mail! (bwa ha ha ha)…and the emails start bouncing. and you suddenly remember them but had no way of reconnecting. or i start to think that maybe i have never really been that important to them.

yes, there will always be new people to meet. yes, there will always be other activities to fill up the hours. but old friends, when they’re gone, when i’ve lost touch completely, leaves a ‘non-fillable’ void.

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One thought on “sappy

  1. Anna! πŸ™‚ Are we on the same wavelength or what??!? Same tune, different song I guess but I feel your pain and know such thought! πŸ™‚

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